Alone Time for Parents

I'm in my den taking advantage of time alone. I try to hurry into doing something productive, yet personal, yet satisfying. And awesome - let's not forget awesome.

Since becoming a mother I have learned that I am never alone, and never will be alone again. There really is no Alone Time anymore.

Oh, she is downstairs with her father right now, but she is always in my mind. The fact that I will soon need to go take care of her is one that breathes down my neck, whether I like the hot dragony gust or not. So, as a parent, I know I am never alone.

Sometimes when I have time alone it is like knowing that as soon as I fall asleep, the phone will ring. That's parenthood. I try to make great - no, excellent!- use of this free time. Thus creating procrastination, panic, resentment.

Yoga is the one thing I can do that really makes me feel like I have used my time wisely and with the most effect. An hour or more to stretch, breathe, dump and recharge. Personal development that takes care of my mind, body & spirit. I can connect with community, feel peace, better myself and truly breath through yoga. The conflicts come away. I leave the mat knowing I have what it takes to be needed around the clock by a little person, knowing I can do it all, knowing that being in the moment is more important than concerning myself with how little time I may have.

Ah, perspective. Now I can enjoy more alone time, on the couch with a book....and maybe a kid crawling all over me.

(Though I am still savouring this boon of time given me by my partner who is happy to laze with our child after his long run this morning. )

VICTORY IS MINE (It belongs to everyone)

Here it is, my glorious return to blogging. I was holding out for something deep, enlightened and, "like, really cool," but that is a form of procrastination I've been using for years.

I've busted myself. I'm no longer letting myself get held back by the notion of perfection. The ideas and stress of performing intelligently, interestingly, artistically and profoundly at all times. What bizarre torture that is.

To mask my imperfection I have always used humour or disdain. I'd laugh at myself and then say I didn't want to join that club anyway.

It is okay to just be.

This has been my lesson.

I'm always striving to better myself, to learn more, to be more. This is healthy. Yet, I have dropped the notion that I have to be excellent at everything. I have discarded the need to appear together when I am not. I am fine with potentially looking silly when I don't have the answers.

How you live, see yourself, see the world. It is up to you. Victory is yours.