I'm in my den taking advantage of time alone. I try to hurry into doing something productive, yet personal, yet satisfying. And awesome - let's not forget awesome.
Since becoming a mother I have learned that I am never alone, and never will be alone again. There really is no Alone Time anymore.
Oh, she is downstairs with her father right now, but she is always in my mind. The fact that I will soon need to go take care of her is one that breathes down my neck, whether I like the hot dragony gust or not. So, as a parent, I know I am never alone.
Sometimes when I have time alone it is like knowing that as soon as I fall asleep, the phone will ring. That's parenthood. I try to make great - no, excellent!- use of this free time. Thus creating procrastination, panic, resentment.
Yoga is the one thing I can do that really makes me feel like I have used my time wisely and with the most effect. An hour or more to stretch, breathe, dump and recharge. Personal development that takes care of my mind, body & spirit. I can connect with community, feel peace, better myself and truly breath through yoga. The conflicts come away. I leave the mat knowing I have what it takes to be needed around the clock by a little person, knowing I can do it all, knowing that being in the moment is more important than concerning myself with how little time I may have.
Ah, perspective. Now I can enjoy more alone time, on the couch with a book....and maybe a kid crawling all over me.
(Though I am still savouring this boon of time given me by my partner who is happy to laze with our child after his long run this morning. )
I spend far too much time thinking about what I will do and then when I have a few moments (and I mean a few) I am trying to do too much.
ReplyDeleteI try to invest in my brain as much as possible and feed it books, mostly about photography right now. I also get online and view websites of other photographers and try to stay up to date with what is happening out there so that my re entry as a professional won't be so difficult.
I am just now embarking on physical activity for JUST ME! I walk a lot but usually with a little one in a stroller or on me.
Right now, the baby is asleep and the older child is with her Dad somewhere in the neighbourhood. I have dragged the vacuum cleaner out and tried to put away laundry. I am also sitting among camera gear which I am intending to test for next weeks big shoot. First I have done of this kind in about 2 years. I also want to have a shower and eat something good for lunch...or maybe read the paper...one of these things will happen.
I was so used to having zero personal time that for the first while I would be overwhelmed by all the options, plus exhausted by need. I was desperately trying to catch up on the life I thought was passing me by :) I need to ask you about the shoot! XOX
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